Computer Poems

These Computer Poems are for those Techy Gadget people out there and there are also some Techno Phobes ones to balance the scales.

Computer Poems


Was something
that you lost with age

Was A Spiders

Was A Long
Trip On The

Was Something you hoped no one
knew about.


Oh No! I've crashed I heard someone say
Getting worried dropped all and ran over;
It's just stopped dead, she said fear in her eyes
Everything lost aaah! I need closure.


Updates are ready, I don't care if they are
You'll not do them till I say;
How many updates can there be?
You've already done three today.

I'm the boss when I talk to it
You'll put the file there;
Oh no I won't it as good as says
I can't find it anywhere.

So I look in search and it's nowhere to be found
I feel I'm going mad;
With books and pens we knew where we were
Personally, I think it's sad!


What's wrong with writing I ask my class
I just can't do it they say;
The skills have long gone you know
Bring some of them back right now, today!

Computer Poems

The programmes are written in such a way
That understanding is not always easy;
Frustration and anger comes to the fore
When the kids say easy, peasy!

I'm mastering my tv remote
As I live and breathe;
My 3 year old took it from me
And on my pride laid a wreath.

She found her programme straight away
Oh Grandma, you are so funny;
You can't do anything right
I will go home and tell my mummy


A chip used to be something you had for your tea
And put inside a buttie;
But now they rule just about everything
Videos, telephones, to name but a few and it's all driving us nutty!

We're stuck now some people say
Addictions amongst them are rife;
The young ones will grow bigger thumbs
I tell them to get a life.

I supposed I've turned into a Techno Phobe
A bit of me has I'm sure;
The quality of life and work
Has seriously dropped and we need to find a cure!

Some say the old ways were the best
But boy they were really slow;
It's finding the yardstick in between
For a healthy culture to grow.

Fresh air and fun is shunned by some
With fear in their neighbourhood;
It's really very sad
It's really not very good.


So now you need a driving licence
To drive the hard drive in your laptop;
They've called it the ECDL I'm told
This madness really must stop.

Many old skills that machines do now
People don't know how to do;
Without these chips we're done for
In fact we're in deep do do!

In hospitals, planes and our cars too.
Machines do all the tests;
We have to learn how to read them
The machine does all the rest.

So if I'm phobic I think I've got a point
Our happiness levels have dropped by miles;
We've lost the pleasures we had but
Also we've lost our smiles.



ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
 COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting-up an office in my den, and I'm
 thinking about buying a computer.
 COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
 ABBOTT: Your computer?
 COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
 COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
 ABBOTT: What about Windows?
 COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
 ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
 COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
 ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
 COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
 ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
 COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
 proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
 ABBOTT: Office.
 COSTELLO: Yes, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
 ABBOTT: I just did.
 COSTELLO: You just did what?
 ABBOTT: Recommend something.
 COSTELLO: You recommended something?
 COSTELLO: For my office?
 COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
 ABBOTT: Office.
 COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
 ABBOTT: I recommend Office, with Windows.
 COSTELLO: I already have an office, with windows! Let's just say I'm
 sitting at a computer, and I want to type proposals. What do I need?
 ABBOTT: Word.
 COSTELLO: What word?
 ABBOTT: Word, in Office.
 COSTELLO: The only word in office, is office.
 ABBOTT: The Word, in Office, for Windows.
 COSTELLO: Which word in office, for windows?
 ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
 COSTELLO: I'll come and click *your* blue 'W', if you don't give me
 some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have
 anything I can track my money with?
 ABBOTT: Money.

 COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
 ABBOTT: Money.
 COSTELLO: I need money, to track my money?

 ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
 COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
 ABBOTT: Money.
 COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
 ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
 COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
 ABBOTT: One copy.
 COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
 ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a licence to copy Money.
 COSTELLO: They can give you a licence to copy money?
 (A few days later)
 ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
 COSTELLO: How do I stop my computer, and turn it off?
 ABBOTT: Click on 'START'.............